A tea that will teach you to be kind to yourself: Green Rooibos Haiku... From SBS Teas...
"Fulfill your longings
island tropics in a cup
Your caffeine free escape...
This amazing blend of healthful Green Rooibos, brings together a tropical sensation from the Florida Keys. Excellent hot or over ice.
Ingredients:
Organic green rooibos, papaya pieces, mango bits, peach pieces, orange peels, calendula and natural flavorings. This blend contains NO caffeine."
"Napped half the day;
no one
punished me."
Haiku Master Issa, 1763-1827
I have always been a nappish person, but like the regular napper would lay down for perhaps an hour, tops. That changed 5 years ago when I went on two more important medications that I take with lunch that may be anywhere between 1:00 and 3:00 and by the time I've eaten and the medication takes hold -- KAPOW-- it's like hitting a brick wall and I can't keep my eyes open.
For nearly 5 years now, as my doctor worked on all different kinds of medications in different doses to which I had different peculiar side effects, I would be knocked out and sleep 2-3 hours. Then, having slept I would be up half the night working. And as I never "sleep in" as in "sleep till noon" because I have a dog that tries to be as polite as he can but when he can't stand it anymore HE HAS TO GO OUT and NOW! So I'm usually up between 8 and 9 even if I've been up until 3 a.m. the "night" before, and on it goes.
Of late the whole cycle seemed to have regulated itself somewhat so that I do nap mostly about an hour and a half, but just about the time it felt like everything was falling into place I am coming, I believe, to the end of the peri-menopausal stage (which has been a challenge at the best of times) and about to enter the full blown "Pause," which I don't see as a bad thing but when I hit my cycle each month I can barely keep my eyes open.
The whole point of discussing this is that one of the most peculiar things, and I experience this a lot as different aspects of my life seem to alarm people no end -- barely leaving the house, all kinds of crazy hours, working nearly round the clock when I'm up -- is that people have been terribly alarmed by the napping, especially when I sleep for 2 or 3 hours ( 3 is actually rare). I have gotten comments that ranged from joking to downright rude, as if the nap had no other purpose but to aggravate people, which I assure you is not the case. And so feeling guilty due to people's reactions I tried not to nap, tried setting an alarm, tried all kinds of things but my body said, "Unh-unh. Lay down. Go to sleep. Let us do what we need to do inside of you. Be kinder to yourself." I was uneasy and a bit shocked by the whole thing but finally I gave in and now most people who know me know my routine. I turn my phone off when I nap. I am simply not reachable then, and somehow, though some people still get aggravated, the world seems to go on without me just fine.
As I have lived through these years and finally come to a place of comfort with it all, I have begun to ponder people's need for speed, need to fit in with society like clones or Stepford Wives, living a kind of life expected of them rather than one that their body is naturally allowed to assume, one they would be happier and more at peace with. My life gives me peace. When I flow gently with it's natural rhythms I can get more work accomplished, feel in sync with my life and days, make better decisions, and am coming, more and more, to a clarity about what life is, and what my role in it is meant to be.
There are some of us whose lives worked out a little differently than most, both by nature and/or nurture, and we spend most of our lives either apologizing for not being able to live like everyone else, baffled, perplexed, feeling like something was wrong with us (Never mind the conditions, diagnoses, medications, doctors and whatnots, we are who we are and we deal with it all as best we can and that becomes, for us, the norm.) and it makes for a very painful and isolating existence. We who are disabled in some way live life learning how to find peace, acceptance, understanding, and making of ourselves something productive, something that we can be proud of and one day I finally let go of people's misconceptions, criticisms and whatnot, and just started being me, whatever the heck that was. And I love my odd little life. And I am happy.
I feel the need to say that this is not just about napping. Napping is a metaphor for the deeper purpose of this piece as certainly I realize that many people have work schedules out in the world out of necessity and come home to families to care for and whatnot and an occasional nap would be a luxury at best. What I am, more to the point, getting at, is that it seems most people feel that taking care of themselves, in whatever way that happens or that they need, is selfish, is not "what most people do," and they will keep on keeping on pushing themselves beyond all reasonable limits, eating junk food on the fly (and yes, I like and eat my share of junk food, but for some in this over-pressurized world, that's all that many eat!). What I am suggesting is that you take a look at your life and take a kind of inventory. Look at the things you are doing because you must, and put a keen eye on those things you can really see that you are doing because you "think you are supposed to" or are doing because you are trying to fit into what society considers the norm. In fact you don't need to be disabled some way to be different, and I think more people than we realize through their lives always feeling like the square peg trying to fit in the round hole. I say look for a different hole, a square one, one that fits who you really are, and it will change your life.
This is where I come to tea. We can all have a cup of tea. And perhaps we will all find different times of the day for tea time. I got a call from a dear friend this week who had a baby nine months ago and sounded weary and frustrated at not being able to get her writing done. I told her about another dear friend who, once her little girl was put to bed claimed an hour for herself in the bath.
Women (and all parents of course but this mostly still falls on the shoulders of women, working or no...) can't help but deal with this when their children are young. But you can make a cup of tea, take a book, your journal, whatever, make a big bubblebath, light candles and sink into the water and sip your tea and read your book or write or just soak and float. And perhaps the busy person can take time in their workaday world for a massage or something relaxing and rejuvenating, not just once a week, but something that fits into their schedule, if only for an hour. My mother always said, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." If we can find the time to get things done, we can find the time NOT to get things done. Whether it's on the way home from work, on your lunch hour, or after the kids go to bed, or like I did when my children were young, I set the alarm, got up at 5 a.m., made coffee and had time to read and think and write before the day began. There is no one right way to do this, but it's important to find a way that works for you, and look at that balance sheet: absolutely MUST do vs. really don't need to do, and use the latter newly found time as your nurturing time.
If you have your teatime late at night it is good to have a soothing tea with no caffeine and rooibos is a perfect choice. It is soothing and relaxing and actually a gentle sleep aid, and I am having, as I write, the tea that I had last night and fell in love with, this wonderful Green Rooibos Haiku. What an amazing tea. Soothing, deeply flavorful, the complex flavors melding together creating surprise and delight, the kind that then makes your whole body relax, and sigh, and changes the whole tenor of your day (or night). The next time I place a tea order this will definitely be on my list of must have teas.
And so I will close here. I will sip my tea and almost feel the warm gentle island breeze on my cheek. I will knit and read and write and have a soft gentle evening ahead of me.
Take time. Make time. Be kind to yourself. It will change your life.
Maitri